Home Improvement Survival Guide for Men: How a Guy Can Survive a Home Improvement Project Without Losing His Sanity or a Finger (Volume 2)

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The fun if not functional handbook for the hopeful handyman. Guys: tired of being known as the only man on your block who can’t change a flashlight battery without hiring an electrician? Wondering why your wife puts the local emergency room on speed dial every time you pick up a hammer? Peeved because your last home improvement project ending up costing more than your wedding? The Home Improvement Survival Guide for Men is for you! Loaded with humorous, helpful tips, this book will guide you through the perils of plumbing, home repair and other common household handyman tasks with witty explanations plus tongue-in-cheek instructions for simple projects. Get the latest dubious home improvement tips on: Consulting your wife before starting: “When you are discussing a project with your spouse make sure to use calming, non-technical terms and phrases, such as ‘cheap’ or ‘spackle will fix that.’” Saving money with insulation: “If you’re not familiar with insulation, it’s that stuff that rains down on you when you open the attic door and then makes you itch the rest of the day and wonder if you just got cancer.” Replacing a toilet: “Even though this is probably the most revolting job you’ll ever perform, it makes for great bragging rights to the guys at the office, who will be impressed that you did something so nasty yet cool, and that you’re not retching from a terminal case of toilet gingivitis.” How to build a saw horse: “This handy helper is great for raising projects off the floor, to make space so you can shove other unfinished projects under it.” Planting a tree: “Nothing beautifies a home more than a gorgeous, sturdy tree that the previous homeowner planted long before you showed up.” Melding together the whimsical wit of Douglas Adams and the laugh-out-loud narratives of Dave Barry along with a demented dash of “The Red Green Show”, Dan Van Oss delivers a fun if not functional handbook for the hesitant (or hopeless) handyman. “Dan’s style is like The Best of Dave Barry meets The Best of Dennis Miller.” “Humor is hard to do and Dan does it extremely well.”